Tonight at church a friend shared of his need for an upcoming surgical procedure to control pain associated with years of chronic back pain. He shared of his need for a pain pump. I remember Mark’s use of the pain pump and how wonderfully it eased his pain. I pray and hope my friend can find the freedom from his pain.
Wouldn’t it be great if freedom from emotional pain came with the push of a button? Maybe then the tears would never drip any further than my nose. By the time the tear streaks dried, the pain would lessen and happy thoughts would return. Unfortunately, reality prevails and the tears continually ram against the dam. Many times the stalwart dam breaks and tears fall at inopportune times. Today was just such a day.
The overwhelming responsibility of taking care of the needs of my children, home and work have worn down my reserves. I know all the right words to tell my heart but they feel so empty. I have cracked the nut’s shell only to find the walnut missing.
Please continue to pray for my family. Every day is a new day per chance to enjoy a nut.
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203 users responded in this post
Hey! Just a note to say we love you. Don’t forget us if you need anything…even just someone to sit and remember…and cry! We miss Mark, but we know very soon we’ll be seeing him again…with Jesus even more obviously at his side than before.
sheree and sandy
Still praying for you and your family, Miss seeing you everyday:)
Brian and Deanna Hundley
Dear Julie,
I think of all of you so often and continue to pray for each. I know you have your hands so full. Yet, your load at times seems so heavy and that road seems so long. I keep repeating to myself the Lord never puts too much on us that we can not handle. I am one of those who has to think of my life in those circumstances. The Lord has richly blessed me with a wonderful husband and three beautiful daughters, son-in-laws and grandchildren. Life throws each of us some curve balls which we do not like. August 9, 2002 will always be my day of disbelief, sadness, tears beyond one could ever believe. I lost my dearest brother, Johnny. I came to realize that is Mark’s birthday too. When I think of Mark, a smile comes across my face because he made us smile so often. Julie, your road will become a little easier. Just do not know when. I just keep right on praying for you and the children.
Love Always
Sissy
Praying for you!
We continue to lift you and your family in prayer. May God bless you with happy memories and comfort in your journey. Much love, Betty & Wayne
A flicker of sunlight through the rainclouds . . .
A brief breeze on a muggy day . . .
A line or two from a ‘forgotten’ song . . .
A picture, a memory, these are all around
These will sustain our hearts when we grieve.
Thoughts and prayers
Adkins family
HOPI PRAYER of The Soul’s Graduation:
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there,
I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight
On the ripened grain.
I am the gentle Autumn’s rain.
When you awaken in the morning hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there.
I did not die.
My Spirit is still alive…
This prayer kept coming to me as I stood beside Mark’s grave Sunday. I am claiming the promise for you that Michael W. Smith sings about in his song, Help Is On The Way. Park continues to pray for you and the children.
Julie
We continue to lift you and the children up to God in prayer, knowing that you miss Mark in ways we cannot even begin to understand. Please know that you are loved and that your many friends grieve with you.
Love,
Frank and Idella
Words are inadequate to help you. Just know that you and the children are in our prayers every day. With Halloween approaching I can’t help but remember Mark dressed up. What fun! I also know that Thanksgiving and Christmas will be tough ones, but I also know that you will make it through. You are stronger than you think you are. Even though the “nut” is missing you have many blessings such as your children, your friends, your church family, your parents…who are standing with you each and every day. I cannot take away your pain, but I know that as time passes it will get better. I’m not sure it ever goes away, but it becomes manageable. We love you♥
Julie,
Butch and I continue to pray for you and your family. We love you and just wish we could see you more often. I completely understand all the hurt and sorrow you are experiencing but God has wonderful plans for you and the children until we all meet in heaven with our love ones. Continue to be strong in Jesus. Love always,
Mary Lou & Butch
Dear Julie,
Just wanted to remind you that I am still praying continually for you. In many ways this is the most difficult part of the journey – trying to make a ‘normal’ life that will never seem quite normal again. Know that our God will continue to comfort and sustain you and that it’s okay to just ‘fall apart’ when you need to. And somewhere in there – seek the grace to rejoice that you had what many in this world will never comprehend – a marriage that was truly a living sign of the relationship between Christ and the Church.
May God hold you close every moment in His grace, Gayle
Julie and family: Our prayers continue for you daily. We can not imagine the empty place in your life. God is able and will fill that void with love and laughter that will keep you remembering the good times with Mark. Grief is a normal part of life when we lose someone so dear to us. There is no timeline as to when that grief will subside. Julie, you have been so strong through all of Mark’s illness, so naturally it will be hard to bounce back. God will heal your heart by sharing in the lives of each of your children. Being both parents will be hard as active as your children are, so let others help you as much as possible. The burden is not all of your’s to bear. That is what friends and family are for. Let others help with the children. Let the children help you with the work around the house. If the house gets dirty, either have the children help or call on some of your friends to help. Let others help even if you think you can get the job done. A full time job, (especially teaching) and being a full time parent is hard enough without having to worry about the house, shopping and all of the other jobs that are on your list. We will continually pray for you. We love you guys. Hope to come to KY soon. We really miss everyone. After 33 years, KY seemed like our home.
Still Praying, and will continue to do so.
Praying for your friend as well.
Take Care, put it all in God’s hands.
He will help you through.
Julie,
Please know that you are still in our thoughts and prayers daily. Love to you and your family.
Julie,
Thinking of you today on the way home from teaching my little ones, and prayed for you and your children. Feel so inadequate to try to comprehend what it would be to walk in your shoes.
For some reason, that book, The Shack, came to mind after reading your blog. I pray that God comforts you beyond measure. “Come unto Me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.”
Your roses are scattered for now, but what a fragrant aroma the name Walz brings to a conversation. We love you and your rosebush!
May God give you a fresh breath of air, something sweet, like in that waltz with the Trinity, The Shack.
Remembering you,
the Johns Family
I love you Julie. You, Mark, and the children have been such a blessing in so many of our lives. I am still praying for you and the kids daily.
Hi Julie, I think of you and the family every day.
I can only offer my prayers and ask God to comfort you and the kids. We are back in Florida
for the winter, come down and see us when it gets
gray and dreary in Kentucky. All our love. Pat and Jerry
Julie,
God brings your family to mind so often. Most recently, it was in reading a chapter about the way that the Jewish people grieve. I pray that God continues to grant you comfort in your process of grief. You all remain in our prayers.
Shalam,
Shannon
Dear Julie,
Each time I logon I hope for an update on how you and the children are doing. Daily you remain in my prayers. Thoughts of you often cross my mind as I ask God to help you through these rough times. My friends frequently ask about all of you and assure me that you are in their prayers too…prayers for the pain to ease and some joy to be found in special memories.
hugs,
tori
Dear Julie,
Speaking of “nuts” reminds me of Mark telling me I talked crazy sometimes when I was trying to joke with him. I love you and the children,I never cease to pray for you. Stay busy as possible always. God is good. All the time. All the time. God is good!
Love & Prayers always
My husband passed away 1yr ago w/colon cancer and left behind 6yr.old and 12 yr old–my prayers r with u. I have same feelings as u and my kids r going thru same as urs. Prayers r with u and I need urs.
I liked it. So much useful material. I read with great interest.
I’ve really enjoyed reading your articles. You obviously know what you are talking about! Your site is so easy to navigate too, I’ve bookmarked it in my favourites
What a great website you have! You are absolutely right.
This has been really interesting, thanks for that. I love this blog theme too!
Very interesting and amusing subject. I read with great pleasure.
This has been an interesting article, thanks for taking the time to cover it, it’s really helped me!
I can’t help but peruse the picture pages on your family web pages and not laugh and cry with you at the same time. I give Thanks for you and Mark and the kids. Le Anne and I are with you in prayer more than you’ll ever know.
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Julie,
I think of you and the children daily. I pray for you and the children daily. I pray this finds you so busy you can’t have the time to make an entry. I miss you…your entries. This is selfish of me I know. But I do.
Love & prayers always
Julie, I have thought of you and the children a million times this holiday season. I remember the first Christmas my kids endured without their mom. It is a time of tears, a time of memories and hopefully a time of laughter. The good memories should begin to outweigh the sickness and the sadness. My thoughts are with you, I check daily to see if you have posted an update. My heart hurts for you, just remember you are being prayed for by your prayer warriors.
Love, Heidi
Dear Julie,
I pray that you and the children and all your family will have a blessed Christmas.
It is so peaceful to know that our Heavenly Father is in us and that we are in Him. And, He will never, ever leave us and, absoutely nothing can ever, ever seperate Him from us.
I think of you all daily, and pray for you all daily.
Julie and family – still praying for all of you
Wanted you to know that we are still praying for your family to heal
Remember, God will never place anything on you, that you can’t bear.
We love you all.
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