Last year Mark ordered roses from a well know catalog company. The although the catalog extolled of the individual flower’s unique beauty and aroma, I was sorely disappointed when I opened the cardboard box to find the ugliest bunch of stems. I am not sure what I had expected but this lifeless looking twig looked like it belonged more in my firewood pile than in my garden. Unfortunately, I can identify with that ugly twig.
At one time in life our family rose bush flourished. Bright red aromatic blooms rising from long stalks covered the bush. Friends stopped by to enjoy the bush’s beauty. The roses entertained its visitors and welcomed all who entered into its presence.
With Mark’s passing I feel as though our roses have been torn from the bush leaving only ugly mangled stems. The velvety rose petals lay strewn across the garden. Sap weeps from between the jagged edges of the stems.
(to be continued; too tired tonight)
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Julie,
Tears are streaming down my face. I had no idea Mark had passed. I was looking at The Winchester Sun on-line. I saw dated obituaries. My goodness! I cannot believe it. I have searched Mark’s name & clicked on this website. I had heard about 3 yrs. ago, that Mark was sick. I thought he had gotten better. My heart aches for you. I think back to when I was in your beautiful wedding. You have a beautiful family. You have wonderful parents. I hope you are doing okay. You are in my prayers. I live in NC now. I have an 8 yr. old little boy. His name is Logan. Thank God you have your children. I have you in my thoughts & prayers. Aunt Amy
Julie,
So glad you wrote tonight. You are always in my thoughts. I wish I could do something or say something to ease your pain. I have Mark’s picture from his memorial service over my computer at the store and I miss him so. It’s so amazing how God put you and Mark in my life when He did. How blessed I am to have known you both, let alone call you my friends. I hope the kids are all doing ok. Send them my love.
Hugs to you, Julie.
Love, Jan
Dear Julie,
It is normal to feel the way you do. You and the children are grieving and you cannot hurry or change this process. In the midst of all this, it is difficult to tend to everyone’s needs. All I can tell you as it will get better, with God’s help. It will never be the same, but one
day the good will begin to replace the bad. Our thoughts and prayers continue for you and your family. George & Nancy
Julie, I feel your pain. Maybe you can make a little garden in memory of Mark and put a little pogoda, or statue in it. While you are working on it you can communicate with him. I think he would like his own garden. Just an another one of my ideas. As usual I always have one. I truly do think of you and your family every day and pray for you every night. I can never forget the feelings you are having now, nothing prepares you for this period of your life. Hold tight and remember many people love you and are praying for all of you. Love, Forest Rose
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You and the children are the roses. The fragrance of Christ is in you and others will share in it and rejoice. The tears serve to water it now.
I know you and the kids miss him so much. Jesus will get you through this tough time. Planting a garden in his memory is a great idea. I did it for my friend Lura, and it helped tremendously. I put a butterfly windchime in the middle of the garden. I could sit and visit with her anytime I wanted. You continue to be in my prayers.
How our hearts ache for you. We love you guys and don’t like to see you hurting. You are still in our prayers every day. As for roses…We planted two special roses this year-one for Steve’s first wife Carol and one for my dad. It’s a tradition we hope to continue, but do not look forward to it. Anyway, Carol’s rose was the very first one to bloom. I like to think that she smiled down on us and our happiness and how much we have done to the land to make it special. My dad’s rose has grown to about 8 feet tall. It’s his way of sying, I am still here watching over you. I know I keep saying this, but time will help. There are no rules about grieving. Everyone must complete that cycle it their own way. Just focus on the good and as they say, “Don’t sweat the small stuff”. Remember that the roses will bloom in the spring-whenever spring is for you. Mark has already bloomed. Now you must tend your own garden. We love you♥ My mother is spending the next 2 weeks with us so I am limited in what I can do, but if you need me, please call. You know me. I cry over everything:) and laugh at lots of things:) Hang on!
Julie,
I don’t know if you know the story of The Rose Beyond the Wall. I received it and since then I have tried to buy others and send it to others.. Of late, I have been unable to find it. I wanted to send it to you. The subject being roses, I felt it necessary and appropriate to send it to you. ” A rose once grew where all could see, sheltered beside a garden wall, And, as the days passed swiftly by, it spread its branches, straight and tall. One day, a beam of light shone through a crevice that had opened wide- The rose bent gently toward its warmth then passed beyond to the other side…Now, you who deeply feel its loss, be comforted-the rose blooms there-Its beauty even greater now, nurtured by God’s own loving care.” I hope you can take some comfort in this and that it helps you as it helped me. Continues love, thought and prayers for you and the children. George and Nancy
Remember, Mom, the Gardener who planted the Rose Bush has not left it unattended. He has just picked the fullest, ripest, best looking rose to go in his vase with the other ruby red roses.
The Gardener continues to water, feed, and care for his rose bush – even during what may seem like a drought.
I love the idea of a rose or flower garden in memory of Mark, with wind chimes. We love you, Julie, and pray for you every day. May our Comforter bless you with peace and rest.
Julie,
I love the verse about the rose. I too have tried to find that card. I love flowers and they make me feel better so I plant lots of tulips in the fall. I know when they begin to bloom the winter gloom is almost gone. You will find your way. The Lord is watching over all of you and holding your hand. He will carry you. I know you have to be so tired right now. Continous prayers for all.
Love
The Faulkners
The Bible says everything has a season, we are like a blade of grass that withers. Yet, I marvel each spring following the bleak mid winter months of cold and dread, the Rose bushes bloom in all their glory. This lesson of Spring is a foretaste of what is yet to come. Mark will once again (and soon) come forth with a broad smile and a new and vigorous body. Our tears will be wiped away by the hand of God Himself.
Until that much anticipated day, I will forever close my eyes and cherish the lessons the garden brings me. Once withered, we will become beautiful and vibrant again. Some people in life are blessed twice. They have always been beautiful and God will keep them this way for eternity. Julie, you are one of those blessed few!
Keep looking up, your Saviour is by your side.
I wish there was a word or a way to bring you the comfort you not only seek, but deserve. As a way of offering a tiny bit of hope, let me say that you have a “Verizon” full of people as a network who miss Mark and love you. Use your network, and thanks for keeping us all up to date.
We love you.
Julie, I planted roses bushes in my yard after Archie passed away. It was such a blessing to see them thrive, grow, and bloom. I hope you plant a garden in memory of Mark. It will give you much comfort. I know the grief you are feeling will someday get better, but for now it is so hard to get from one day to the next. I went to grief counseling a lot the first year after he died and that helped me get through some most difficult days. I pray for you and your family to gain strength as time passes and if there is anything I can do please call me.
We love you and the children so much.
Mary Lou and Butch
Dear Julie,
I cry with you tonight. I love you very much.
We have a group of teachers that meet every day before we pick up our students and we pray for you and your children.
You are not forgotten. Again, I have no words,but I sigh in my prayers for you and I know God hears and answers.
You are the song tonight that is being sung in heaven, your tears are the incense that brings everyone together, you are the one that all heaven is talking about, the rose, the sun, the rain, the laughter,you are the hope of eternity. You are not alone.
I hope to see you sometime during the first full week of October.
Hope,
chris w
Dear Julie, my heart weeps for you and your great loss of the one that always made you smile and always made you and the kids happy. We will not forget you in our prayers. Mark Jr’s writing was so special. Love Patsy
Praying for you!
We give thanks to God for Mark’s ultimate healing. Even tho I haven’t been on your site for a while, please know that we keep you & your family in our prayers: for rest, peace and for the knowledge of the presence of God in your lives. We send our love and prayers. Betty & Wayne
You and your family remain in our prayers. We are here for you. Let us know what we can do. All our Christian love…Howard & Kathy
Please know that our thoughts and prayers are with you every day. I know that I don’t see you at work very often, but I am ALWAYS there if you need me. Love you Jules.
Dear Julie,
The thoughts, the prayers, the concern is ever with you and the children. While I can’t help ease the pain you feel right now, I know God hears the prayers of so many who care…and He will ever be at your side.
hugs,
Tori
Your heart will heal, Julie. Your great love for the Lord will prove to be the strength you have longed for. Don’t give up now. There will be a new direction in your life. We are all praying for a breakthrough for you as well as the peace that passes understanding. It will come, believe me, it will come. Loving you all.
Jane
I read a few topics. I respect your work and added blog to favorites.
I’m so glad to be reading this tonight. I have been wondering about you and your lovely family. I know that Mark is watching over all of you to keep you safe.
The love you have written about many a times is so strong, and will forever be there. I am praying for you and your family in time of need.
I love you all!
Take Care, and God Bless
Dear Julie,
How beautiful Mark Dixon’s writing was, and Chris, and so many others. I think of some of the most beautiful writings of all times – the Psalms – how many of them were put to pen in times of dark loneliness and sorrow and pain. You are writing such a precious, poignant, candid, gutt-wrenching book as you journey through this dark valley. You inspire our prayers and our tears, and most definitely our respect. Your book will bless many, many people who are suffering with the sorrows of life. I hope that somehow comforts you. And that day when every bloom on your family rosebush is gathered into the Gardener’s vase – never, ever to be separated again – is probably closer than any of us think. Come, Lord Jesus!
Hugs to the Walzes,
the Johns Family
Dear Julie,
In spite of all you are going through, Still, He makes the sun rise. Keep hanging in there for You will make it. You are Blessed with many friends. May God Bless you.
Love,
Ben & Jo
Dear Julie,
God Loves you and so do we.
Love,
Ben & Jo
I hope you found the energy to plant that ugly bunch of stems anyway. Put some Miracle-Gro for Roses on them and watch. Roses brought Mark hope and I am praying this one will bring you bouquets of hope. (Anyway if they don’t, most companies will send replacements.) You are all still in our prayers.
How specifically can we pray for the Walz family ?
Sending a prayerful wish that the week gone by was a bit easier for you…and that the one ahead holds some peaceful moments and smiles at remembering the wonderful man God placed in your life though for much too short a time.
hugs,
tori
Julie,
Be strong. Mark is still with you, even as he is in Heaven with our Lord. Truly, you are not alone. God has a plan for you that you may not have an inkling of right now, but He will guide you. Keep the faith. And remember, you are much loved.
~Cristina H
I liked it. So much useful material. I read with great interest.
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