What is it about our hair? We brush it, curl it, straighten, gel it and the list continues.  Our updo for the day can reflect how we feel in the depths of our being. We cover up a bad hair day and uncover a good day to let the locks dangle. The media constantly bombards us about the importance of hair. Adventisements for hair replacements, present models with the before and after look. We marvel at how their looks improve with the new crown. As new parents we run our hands over the bald heads of our baby wondering what their hair will look like. Will he have curly or straight hair? Will her hair be corn silk blonde or chestnut brown? Do we realize the importance we place  on the presence of hair and how devestating its absence is to our psyche?

“How do you feel when you look into the mirror?” I asked Mark this morning as he sat on the couch in the family room. His hang-dog expression told all. Yesterday, I took Mark to the barber to remove the remaining locks that still clung to his scalp.

“I feel very sad,” he whispered. You see, Mark has always been a blessed man in the field of hair growth. One friend often described his tresses as movie star hair.  I always thought of his hair as icing on the most wonderful cake.

When you think and pray for us today, remember cancer is not just an individual’s disease but a disease pervading the entire family. Although we do not endure the physical aspects of this horrific evil, we grieve together over every loss – the loss of hair, the loss of weight, the loss of vitality, the loss of personality, the loss of smiles, the loss of control, the loss of sleep…

Each day brings new hope. We cling to God’s Word and the hope it brings. Thank you for your support,  your prayers, your encouraging words, your hospitality, your generosity and your faithfulness. Being the body of Christ, you have been our legs when he felt we good not take another step. You have been our hands to wipe away the tears when the strength failed in our arms. We love you all.

Mark is feeling better today than yesterday. Most of yesterday he spent moving from his chair to the couch and back again. Even with his loss of energy, he did not have any vomiting spells for which I was very thankful.

Today he stepped outside to enjoy the sunshine and cooler temperatures. He loves the outdoors and the smell of freshly cut grass; he always remembers to stop and smell his roses. On the days that he feels fairly well he cuts a few of his roses to adorn our kitchen table.

We are now two days out from chemotherapy. His appetite still remains nonexistent but he understands the importance of nutrition and tries to eat something – a chicken leg (bite), a couple bites of casserole. Although he has moved from soft foods to solid foods, his intake rivals that of a toddler (a small one). I am very concerned about his loss of weight. He has lost 13 pounds in ten days. Collars that used to securely hug his neck now droop to expose his frailness. Today we had new windows installed and Mark remarked that he was having a good day. One of the workers passed by me and with raised eyebrows questioned, “This is a good day?” The worker can’t imagine how far he has come these past couple of weeks.

Through it all his spirits remain intact. We are so blessed. God is good!

Would you like some good news? How about a CEA, tumor marker,  level that dropped from 491 to 50 and that’s after only 1 full round of chemotherapy! I have equated today’s news with scoring a 100 on one of my Praxis exams. (If you don’t teach, imagine one of your hardest standardized tests.) Okay, I didn’t really score a 100 but if I would have, I’m sure it would have felt like this. My goodness, I have been in school way to long.

Needless to say Mark and I both have experienced an awesome day. Last night Dr. Musgrave visited with us and decided that Mark would resume chemotherapy today instead of tomorrow. This morning he drank a Boost and although he missed lunch (I kind of ate it ), he did eat a balanced meal at supper. I used to complain about his stomach looking like he swallowed a basketball but oh how I long to see him fat again. He can eat all he wants and he’ll never hear any unkind words from me about his weight.  Though, if I don’t stop eating his lunches then he’ll have something to complain about me.

You all are such a source of encouragement to us. I know that I have said this many times but I can’t emphasize enough the importance of your words.

Continue to pray for the tumors to shrivel up like prunes. Who like prunes anyway?

Thank you for your Bible verses. I take these to heart everyday. Know that they feed not only me but others who read this blog.